


Not Alone

by Cargo



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Angst, Friends With Benefits, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Suggestive Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-08-06 12:46:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16388000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cargo/pseuds/Cargo
Summary: Jackson. Alex. Just sex, no strings attached. That's what they'd agreed on when they started.But is that what they really wanted?





	Not Alone

"I feel like a freaking teenager again." Alex laughed against Jackson's chest, still breathing heavily from the rigorous activities that they'd been involved in just moments prior.

Jackson laughed gleefully, rolling over so he was on top of Jackson now, "What are we at now? There times already today?" At least they were finally back at Jackson's apartment, they had the privacy and quietness that neither had known they'd needed. They could stop sneaking around for tonight and they could just be them.

"Four actually, if you count the car stuff." Alex smirked, pulling Jackson down for a long kiss.

"How could I not count the car stuff?" Jackson spoke as he pulled back, a big grin on his face, "For future reference though, you should probably shouldn't do that _while_ I'm driving."

"You seemed to like it," Alex teased, running his hand up Jackson's sides.

"Oh, I definitely liked it." Jackson raised an eyebrow, "But I also don't want to get into an accident." 

"You're a good driver." 

"Yeah, but when you do stuff like _that_ to me," Jackson's eyes glazed over just thinking about it, "Skills go out the window."

"Okay, fine," Alex flipped them, his heart skipping a beat at Jackson's airy gasp. "Next time I'll make you pull over first."

Jackson just grinned as he got out of bed and pulled on the pair of briefs that had been discarded in their earlier haste. "Next time?"

"Of course." Alex nodded slowly, following Jackson from the bedroom to the shower. After the day they'd had, they could both use a long hot shower and Alex didn't think Jackson would mind the company.

 

 

Soon they were all clean, back in bed and watching shitty crime shows, the situation itself was peaceful but the underlying tension wasn't.

"So I was thinking.." Jackson spoke carefully after some time had passed in silence.

Alex nodded, turning his head away from the TV and toward the other man. Alex had known from day one that Jackson wouldn't keep him around long. There was probably already a lineup on the other side of the apartment door, chocked with girls– _hell_ , guys too– that had more to give, more to love. So maybe this was it, maybe this was finally the axe that split the wood and it positively _wrecked_ him inside. He already couldn't breathe and Jackson hadn't even _said_ anything. "About?"

"Do you have plans for Christmas?" He said quickly. He'd been trying to ask this all day already and he knew it wouldn't come out if he thought about it too much longer.

"What?" Alex raised a furrowed brow and tried to study Jackson's face but the man had his apprehensive wall hiding everything.

Jackson inhaled slowly, "I was wondering what you're doing for Christmas." The holiday in question was only a week away now, and maybe not the best time to be asking, but he had to.

"Yeah, I heard that, but why are you asking?"

"Because I want you to spend it with me." Jackson was looking him dead on now, crystal blue eyes holding all the hope that Alex had ever wanted to see. 

"Why?" Alex asked, absolutely stunned. It scared him, it confused him, he didn't understand. "Why me?"

Jackson looked at him like the answer was obvious, "Because, I care about you. And I want to be with the person I care about on Christmas.

"You care..? About me?" Alex slowly got up and inched away from the bed.

Jackson shuffled to the edge of the bed and was about to get up, but Alex looked scared, like a deer in the headlights.

"I know we said this was just going to be sex, no strings, but—" Jackson paused, "—but you're not just some piece of meat to me, you never were. I don't know know when it happened or why, but I do know that I want this to be more... And look, I understand that this is all probably super weird, I understand if you want to call this whole thing off and never speak to me."

"Jacks," Alex murmurs, edge of his voice shaking for reasons Jackson didn't yet understand.

Minutes pass, silent and unrelenting. Their eyes never leave each other and neither knows quite what to say. 

Alex is the first to speak, once he finally gets his thoughts, his words, all figured out. "Are you going to leave?" 

Alex hates how weak he sounds, how quiet and unconfident his voice felt. He hates that he's vulnerable right now, that Jackson can likely see right through him.

"Leave?" Jackson's standing now, slowly closing the distance between him and Alex. He knows exactly what Alex means, he knows all about his childhood, his life growing up, his struggles with confidence and trust. Jackson knows. "I'll never leave you. Whether we're just friends, friends with benefits, or if this does turn out to be more.. Hell, Alex, even if we become worst enemies. I'll never leave you. I won't abandon you." 

Those are the words Alex needs to hear. They're all he needs to hear.

Alex has tackled Jackson onto the bed, pushing their lips together in a rough kiss as he holds him tight. He needs to show Jackson how he feels, that he feels the same way, that even though he may not be able to speak right now, that he cares. Jackson is laughing and grinning and he's kissing Alex back because he gets that they both need this, to solidify everything with this kiss, with this moment. 

"So, Christmas?" Jackson asks again, once their red lips and heaving lungs have a moment to recover.

"Christmas." Alex hums with approval, gently kissing Jackson's neck.

"With me?" Jackson raises an eyebrow, a hand firmly on Alex's lower back as they lay, no space between their warm bodies.

"With you." Alex nodded, smiling at the thought. "Not alone." He adds, thinking to himself that maybe, just _maybe_ , this could work out after all.

 


End file.
